Healing from Grief

Healing from Grief 

Grief is a deep and intense feeling we experience after a loss. It can completely change our worldview and the way we function in our day to day lives. While the topic of grief is so heavily intertwined with the loss of a loved one, we tend to forget that grief can also occur after the loss of a situation or item. This can include: the loss of a pet, the loss of one’s home, the loss of a job, or even the loss of ‘the way things used to be’. For whatever reason it is, when we lose something we feel connected to, it can feel like a part of us has been ripped out.

The feelings that ensue in the aftermath of a loss can be confusing. While everyone experiences grief in their own way, some common emotions people feel are: anger, confusion, sadness, anxiety, fear, some may feel nothing inside, while others feel like they need to explode. The connections we have with others have such a huge impact on us, that when we lose that connection, we are left with a ton of feelings and emotions that can be overwhelming for our brain and body to handle.

Healing Is Possible

The important thing to remember about grief is that healing is possible. Healing from grief does not mean we forget who we lost…healing occurs when the pain begins to fade away. The best thing we can do for ourselves after experiencing a loss is to just…be. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. Be kind and sensitive to the parts of yourself that are hurt, and find ways to express these feelings in a safe place. Some examples of safe places to express our feelings are: grief support groups, grief counselling, being around loved ones, or keeping a journal. Honouring the person who has passed can bring relief as well, this may look like: carrying around a picture of who we lost, creating a memorial area in your home, engaging in and celebrating the activities they loved, or simply just sharing stories about them with loved ones.

Support Through Community & Spirituality

While this doesn’t work for everyone, many who have experienced a loss find solace in spirituality. When we experience grief, it can spark questions surrounding the reason for our existence, or the reason for suffering and death. Seeking a chaplain, imam, religious leader, or any sort of spiritual counsellor may be useful to some who are looking for answers from a higher power, or just simply need a religious/spiritual community for support.

Just remember that grieving is a normal part of life. It is a difficult experience that needs to take its course and play out naturally so that healing can begin. Seeking support, being around loved ones, and taking time for yourself are key in ensuring that the pain from grief eventually transforms into a healed heart.

References

Jongsma, A. E., Peterson, L. M., & Bruce T. J. (2014). The complete adult psychotherapy treatment planner (5th ed.). Wiley.

Kubler-Ross, D., & Kessler, E. (2014). On grief and grieving. Simon & Schuster.

Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. Macmillan, New York.